Tag Archives: mistakes

let’s talk about balance

Interesting day today, mealwise. I started off light with a “breakfast taco” – corn tortilla, Daiya melted on it, then a “fried” (nonstick spray) egg on top with some habanero hot sauce. It was delicious! And it tends to keep me full for several hours, which works really well on the weekends when I eat it at 9 or 10 a.m. and have lunch around 1. What doesn’t work is when I have it at 7 in the morning, and my lunch isn’t until later in the day. 😦 I ended up devouring a whole lengua burrito (no beans) and I’m really paying for it now. I feel disgusting! Lesson learned – maybe tomorrow I’ll shoot for two of the tacos instead of one and see how that treats me throughout the day. Or bring one to work to eat midway through the morning …

I am, however, 100% successful in sticking to my 9 cups of water a day challenge. I haven’t noticed any overt benefits or improvements, but it certainly isn’t hurting me any so I’m sure I can keep it going long-term.


just a quick post

I’m off to brave the DMV today, so this will be quick. Yesterday I did well up until the end. I had a breakfast of one serving of soy-free chorizo (which, by the way, is hard to find! apparently soy flour is a common filler?), one medium brown egg, one egg white from the same, and half a zucchini with a sprinkle of Daiya cheddar. Sooooo tasty and filling.

For lunch, I was eyeballing a half pound salmon fillet … I went for it, with some bok choy and zucchini and a hearty sprinkle of cayenne and garlic. Tasty.

And then I had a Lee’s sandwich for dinner. :/ Not my proudest moment, but it was getting late and I needed something the whole family could eat for relatively cheap.

By the way, the new exercise bike? Sucks! Incredibly loud, but more tellingly, it’s too short for me! Even at the highest setting, I’m getting pain in my knees (including a pop that left me sore for two days afterwards) and I’m only 5’5″. I’m leaning towards reselling it on Craigslist and waiting for my first paycheck to come in to scope out real gym options. 😦

good all day and an oopsie at night

Well, I’m sad to say that I cheated a bit last night. Not terrible – there were definitely less paleo choices I could have made! – but I’m kind of kicking myself today for so mindlessly munching on microwaved chicken nuggets (of all things!). Anyway, the breakdown of the day prior to that (obviously i didn’t photograph my shame – next time i should!):

Breakfast. I grabbed these frozen sausages without realizing they were two per serving instead of one. They’re tiny, they have soy protein (the quick ‘n’ eat ones i normally have do not have soy), and they’re not as good. :/ No thanks, Johnsonville, not again!

I threw some chicken thighs in enchilada sauce in the oven when I left for work, and came home for lunch to some beautifully cooked meat. I added a whole avocado on top for fiber, fat, and deliciousness.

Dinner was the leftover chicken thigh, avocado, cheese, tomato, and salsa verde on a bed of romaine. Pretty tasty and felt super light. Yay vitamin A!

I did have half a Coors Light and half an IPA after dinner. I had had a bad headache all day that multitudes of drugs didn’t cure, so I thought perhaps it was a lack-of-carbs-induced headache. No such luck and the beers definitely weren’t worth the calories or the deviation from paleo. :/ I have it again today so I’m thinking I may just be getting sick. I did spent 57 minutes on the elliptical for a whopping 500 calories so that at least offset my bad choices a bit.

Until tomorrow!

hi everyone!

I took about three weeks off of dieting/exercising and just basically let myself go. The rationale behind this was pretty poor – I had a trip coming up, wherein I didn’t plan on dieting, and so why bother for the three weeks prior? I didn’t gain any weight during the three weeks but I did gain 3 pounds on the trip, which was enough to jump start me back on track again. (can you say, yo yo dieter? yeesh) I was 149.8 this morning. 😦

In any case, I got it in my head to try the keto diet I’d read so much about on Reddit. I tried day 1 yesterday and let me tell you… they aren’t kidding about the “keto flu.” I felt miserable by the end of the day and ended up drinking a beer at 10 p.m. just so I could go to sleep feeling halfway decent. I’m trying again today, though, and hope that maybe easing into it a day at a time will be helpful.

I’m on my lunch but here’s a brief synopsis of yesterday’s food –

Two eggs and a “Quick n Eat” sausage patty. 340 calories.

A leg, a thigh, and about a cup and a half of broccoli steamed in vegetable broth with minced garlic and a splash of coconut aminos soy sauce replacement.

I couldn’t finish this. Steak, onion, zucchini, sharp cheddar, olive oil, garlic. By this point in the day, I was nauseous and had a headache. Plus, the cut of steak (it was pre-chopped – my first mistake) had a TON of gristle and even some bone! 1/10, would not buy again.

I nibbled on some soy-free beef jerky before bed but a 24 ounce Red Hook Long Hammer IPA was my huge failing of the day. I plan on scaling down to a Coors Light tonight, which I know is not at all within keto, but if I feel anywhere close to how I felt yesterday, it will be necessary. Until next time!

step one is complete!

The last couple of nights, I’ve been alcohol-free! It’s something that I’ve known I can do, but have been hindered by my anxiety about getting enough sleep each night. The real impetus to go ahead and do it was a week of really terrible sleep with the alcohol – if I can’t sleep on it, I might as well try sleeping without it. So far, so good!

I do need to cut out the night time snacking, however. That’s my next step, something to build upon my success. It’s not that I’m starving or particularly hungry, I just feel like I need to be snacking to keep myself occupied as I wind down for the night. R has suggested buying peanut butter and celery. This is a great idea because I hate peanut butter. 😦 Leaving me just the celery is absolutely fine and a caloric “hit” I’m willing to take.

Today was honestly a wash even without drinking – I had my usual breakfast sandwich, then someone brought donuts and I failed to have any willpower (i also ate fruit, but obviously those don’t cancel each other out!), then I had some jalapeno cheddar corn bread with some chili for lunch, then a chicken fajita pita from Jack in the Box just now … it’s a rough day. Not a horrible day, but even if I get to do some in-home exercise, it’s going to be to break even, not to cut into my daily total. 😦

Tomorrow is a new day, however, and every small step I take (no hard alcohol, then no alcohol at all, then no snacking) will get me closer and closer and put me into a position to really leap toward my goals in a way I haven’t been able to thus far.

is this thing on?

Looks like my last post was the ill-fated 30 days of food, wherein I was unfortunately forced to conclude that as soon as I am at work, my best plans to take pictures of everything I eat get foiled. I’ve been tempted, lately, to ease back into a dinner-only shot, as I’ve been bringing Lean Pockets and soup for meals at work (and god knows that would make for a boring parade of pictures!) … it’s something I’m toying with. I need some accountability though as tightening up some areas of my diet (actual food caloric intake) has been fine while other, more crucial areas (alcohol, late night snacking) have continued unchecked.

Some positive steps I have taken:

– Stopped drinking hard alcohol completely. Instead of actual shots, I take “shots” of wine which equal out to about a cup and a half over the course of the night
– Learned to drink black coffee. Artificial sweeteners concern me, particularly when considering how many diet drinks I was drinking for caffeine throughout the day, but every time I tried to switch to coffee, I found myself wasting calories on creamer and sugar. I’m finally able to drink it black and save myself sweeteners and calories in the process.

And not a step I have “taken” but I’ve found myself much more tolerant to cheese, which allows for things like “eating Lean Pockets for breakfast.”

It’s been a rough couple of months though, emotionally, and I’ve been teetering around 147 despite my (admittedly half-assed) efforts. I’m pondering a membership at the community center, which has an excellent gym, but in the mean time I have some goals I’d like to work on for myself. These include:

– Switching to NA beer. I don’t actually get drunk anymore, off of two beers and some shots of wine per night, but wasting 200 calories on a high percentage beer is ridiculous when I’m trying to lose weight. I think starting with NA and keeping the wine in is a good first step to tapering off completely.
– DOING TURBO JAM. After a month of moving and not exercising, I got on our elliptical and it immediately broke. I’m going to try to fix it myself, but barring that, I need to get moving again and Turbo Jam is the quickest and easiest way to do that. I haven’t ventured into some of the 40 minute exercises and I really should. Finding some other programs to alternate with would probably be a good idea.
– Continuing to bring low calorie meals to work. That’s simple enough!

I’ll check in tomorrow with a weigh-in and we’ll go from there …

a lesson about sushi

I started off my day predictably – an English muffin, a little bit of Earth Balance whipped, a turkey sausage patty, and an egg. These sandwiches really have lasting power through lunch time.


For lunch, I was really craving sushi, and had that, “How many calories could it really be?” moment with myself. I figured I would let myself eat a normal amount of food there and then calculate the calories to really teach myself what I’m eating when I go out to places like that.

And now, the parade of sushi …

Salmon nigiri.

Not a usual choice of mine – vegetable tempura.

Salmon and avocado roll with sriracha mayo.

I wasn’t really ~feeling~ eel tempura rolls but had one anyone. Learned my lesson when a bone stabbed me in my gum and stayed there! 😦

And some calamari because it’s delicious.

All said and done … 937 calores. Holy cow! Sure, I was full, but I definitely could have made some better choices with that many calories.


Dinner was basically an abject failure – I intended to have a moist, juicy chicken breast with some roasted-alongside vegetables. Instead, because I was taking a final online while it cooked, I ended up with tough, overcooked chicken and half-burned veggies. :/ I ate it anyway though, as it was 7:30 and too late to start another one.

Even with exercising 735 calories off with about an hour on the elliptical, alcohol tallying in took me over my goal calories (which is 1200 plus whatever i’ve exercised off) by ~170 calories for the day. Definitely no sushi in my future today!

living dangerously!

Okay, not as dangerously as some people live, but it sure felt dangerous. I ate half of a king size Butterfinger today. Did you know that, contrary to the labeling of “milk chocolate” and “butter” in the packaging, all of the milk ingredients in Butterfingers are in the 1% or less column? Once we found that out, R and I agreed to split a Butterfinger when we didn’t have anywhere else to go the rest of the day. That turned out to be yesterday. No adverse effects, and man, was that candy delicious. Totally worth the 230 calories it cost me.


In any case, that Butterfinger was later in the day. I almost ended up skipping breakfast, but was feeling moody and so had an actual serving (30g, as measured by my food scale) of cereal. Ummm … clearly I have been grossly overestimating how much 3/4 of a cup of cereal is this whole time! I brought it out to R to have a laugh at how little I actually got. I threw in a splash of 1% lactose free milk to moisten my handful of cereal. 148 calories.


Lunch came in two courses. First, the artichoke and vegetable course, as I hadn’t cooked the chicken thigh long enough. I sprinkled some couscous on top of the vegetables with a little bit of chicken stock just for some extra texture and a bit of carbs.


Then the chicken was done. One thigh. Total for the meal: 248 calories.

Obvious, that was a super light lunch. When we came home from doing everything that needed to get done for the day, we broke out the Butterfinger, which held me over pretty well as dinner cooked.


Dinner: tostada bowl with beans, enchilada sauce, some roasted chicken breast, Daiya, pico de gallo, and guacamole. 455 calories.

Another 500 calories of alcohol last night (insidious and too much), but I exercised off 550 calories on the elliptical, bringing me under my daily target by 160 calories.

back in the saddle

Back in the saddle, here. I signed up for MyFitnessPal and have been keeping track of my calories and exercise there for a little while now, but wasn’t quite ready to jump back into blogging. I’m ready to make some more significant changes in my life, however, and I’m finding that I’m much more likely to stick with everything if I’m tracking and blogging on the way.

So. Yesterday.


I just got a new camera and it took me a minute to figure out that the light settings were out of whack, so enjoy some blue pictures to start off. 😛

Egg, English muffin, 1 tsp Earth Balance whipped, and a turkey breakfast sausage patty. 310 calories.


Two pickles for basically zero calories. Don’t judge, I love pickles!


For lunch, I sauteed some vegetables and boneless skinless chicken thighs with some curry powder. I also “fried” up some Asian green onion puff pastry that I found at a local market last weekend. It turned out fantastic. 533 calories.

For dinner, we went out to a taqueria, where I had a lengua taco, a cheeseless chicken enchilada, and rice and beans. MFP estimated the meal at 555 calories.

Following dinner, I had approximately 500 calories of beer/alcohol … not good. I’m locking that down tonight.


I did 30 minutes of level 4 resistance elliptical for 380 calories burned, then went on a leisurely 2 hour walk that MFP estimated burned 350 calories.

Net for the day: 9 calories over my goal.

finding a balance

Ah, yesterday. Not the greatest day, eats-wise. I started off strong with an egg white wheat sourdough sandwich:

I was in the midst of month-end craziness at 11:30 and wanted food but didn’t have time to take lunch yet, so I had less than 8 ounces of the pumpkin jalapeno soup.

It was all downhill from there. I had my usual tub of fruit with lunch, but I ordered a sandwich I hadn’t had before from Whole Foods. It was supposed to come with sundried tomato aioli, but instead it was actually dripping with sundried tomato aioli. Since it cost me $7.99, I ate the whole thing, which was a stupid choice, in retrospect. I didn’t get pictures, but I’m clocking it in at 15 points because I’m not about to kid myself and act like it wouldn’t have earned itself some serious points with all that aioli.

Of course, I was stuffed (and parched!) for the rest of the evening. R wanted to go out to dinner, so we went to Sushi Land. I figured it would be a good choice because I could spend a couple bucks and get a controlled amount of food, and that’s how it worked out – I ate two pieces of sashimi (off of nigiri, but j ate the rice) for 1 point, three pieces of salmon skin roll for 3 points, and three pieces of shrimp tempura roll for 5 points. I could eat salmon skin rolls for days, so it’s nice to know that they’re relatively lower points!

Then … evening. R had picked out several beers, and I found myself wavering. Not because I doubted I could sleep – I was exhausted – but inevitably I forget about all the … not tics, I know that’s not the right term … the stress-induced behaviours that start popping up when I don’t get a chance to relax and shut down my anxiety for a bit. I talked it out with R, who suggested that I go about drinking a different way – instead of drinking nightly to sleep, drink occasionally for stress-relief. I had two shots over two hours, and about 8 ounces of beer, and was just fine. I’ll be counting those points, of course, and will be back to my tea-and-heater routine tonight, but I’ll admit that I’m trying to find a healthy balance between “drinking every night” and “teetotaller.” I’ve spent my whole life living out behavioural extremes and it might be time to prove to myself that I can be moderate at something.

In any case, off to work, and planning for some better choices today!