finding a balance

Ah, yesterday. Not the greatest day, eats-wise. I started off strong with an egg white wheat sourdough sandwich:

I was in the midst of month-end craziness at 11:30 and wanted food but didn’t have time to take lunch yet, so I had less than 8 ounces of the pumpkin jalapeno soup.

It was all downhill from there. I had my usual tub of fruit with lunch, but I ordered a sandwich I hadn’t had before from Whole Foods. It was supposed to come with sundried tomato aioli, but instead it was actually dripping with sundried tomato aioli. Since it cost me $7.99, I ate the whole thing, which was a stupid choice, in retrospect. I didn’t get pictures, but I’m clocking it in at 15 points because I’m not about to kid myself and act like it wouldn’t have earned itself some serious points with all that aioli.

Of course, I was stuffed (and parched!) for the rest of the evening. R wanted to go out to dinner, so we went to Sushi Land. I figured it would be a good choice because I could spend a couple bucks and get a controlled amount of food, and that’s how it worked out – I ate two pieces of sashimi (off of nigiri, but j ate the rice) for 1 point, three pieces of salmon skin roll for 3 points, and three pieces of shrimp tempura roll for 5 points. I could eat salmon skin rolls for days, so it’s nice to know that they’re relatively lower points!

Then … evening. R had picked out several beers, and I found myself wavering. Not because I doubted I could sleep – I was exhausted – but inevitably I forget about all the … not tics, I know that’s not the right term … the stress-induced behaviours that start popping up when I don’t get a chance to relax and shut down my anxiety for a bit. I talked it out with R, who suggested that I go about drinking a different way – instead of drinking nightly to sleep, drink occasionally for stress-relief. I had two shots over two hours, and about 8 ounces of beer, and was just fine. I’ll be counting those points, of course, and will be back to my tea-and-heater routine tonight, but I’ll admit that I’m trying to find a healthy balance between “drinking every night” and “teetotaller.” I’ve spent my whole life living out behavioural extremes and it might be time to prove to myself that I can be moderate at something.

In any case, off to work, and planning for some better choices today!


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